I finished my newest bracelet this afternoon. I wanted to get this up tonight before I call it quits. You know, dealing with mental illness and extreme anxiety takes it toll on me. I was so excited to get a facebook message today from my high school best friend who I haven't talked to in nearly 16 years. I've tried to find her over the years, but had no success...then *poof* there she is! We talked for nearly 2 hours on the phone, and it was so great to hear from her and to catch up on our lives. BUT, as soon as the phone call was over, I started having a panic attack. I don't know why. The only thing I have figured in dealing with all this crap is that my body doesn't know how to handle and process extreme emotions whether it be fear, pure happiness, excitement, (fill in other emotions here). So it comes out in the form of a panic attack. It feels as though my skin is peeled back and all my nerves are exposed and even the slightest breeze from the fan makes me feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin and go through the roof. It is the worst feeling ever. My head is pounding, my heart is racing, my breathing is shallow and fast, I clench my teeth so much it makes my face and jaw hurt, I'm shaky and jittery. I could go on and on about the affects of a panic attack. And here lately they have been lasting 10-12 hours at a pop before my adrenaline levels start to come back down and I can relax again.
I guess there is no point really to my ramblings except to say that I had just a little bit of the edging to finish when I got off the phone with Angela. I knew I wanted to get it done, and man were those last few inches ever so hard to finish! My hands were shaking so badly, I kept poking my fingers with my needle and my thread kept getting tangled the wrong way and I had a heck of a time keeping it straight. But I powered through. I call it Drops of Honey because the amber shell discs looked like, well, big drops of honey. The color in them is so rich and yummy. There are 5 discs going around the band. The bracelet is 1 1/4" wide. It's very simple in it's design...I wanted the honey drops to stand out and take center stage.
I have so many new and wonderful beads to work with, thanks to my generous Dad and his birthday gift to me. However, given my current state, it looks like this attack with last through the night and I will probably need tomorrow to recover. And tomorrow is therapy day...those are always rough. So it may be a day or two before I start on something new. Who knows. I'll just have to see how it goes. You can click on the photo, btw, if you want a larger view.
