Monday, May 3, 2010

Drops of Honey

I finished my newest bracelet this afternoon.  I wanted to get this up tonight before I call it quits.  You know, dealing with mental illness and extreme anxiety takes it toll on me.  I was so excited to get a facebook message today from my high school best friend who I haven't talked to in nearly 16 years.  I've tried to find her over the years, but had no success...then *poof* there she is!  We talked for nearly 2 hours on the phone, and it was so great to hear from her and to catch up on our lives.  BUT, as soon as the phone call was over, I started having a panic attack.  I don't know why.  The only thing I have figured in dealing with all this crap is that my body doesn't know how to handle and process extreme emotions whether it be fear, pure happiness, excitement, (fill in other emotions here).  So it comes out in the form of a panic attack.  It feels as though my skin is peeled back and all my nerves are exposed and even the slightest breeze from the fan makes me feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin and go through the roof.  It is the worst feeling ever.  My head is pounding, my heart is racing, my breathing is shallow and fast, I clench my teeth so much it makes my face and jaw hurt, I'm shaky and jittery.  I could go on and on about the affects of a panic attack.  And here lately they have been lasting 10-12 hours at a pop before my adrenaline levels start to come back down and I can relax again. 

I guess there is no point really to my ramblings except to say that I had just a little bit of the edging to finish when I got off the phone with Angela.  I knew I wanted to get it done, and man were those last few inches ever so hard to finish!  My hands were shaking so badly, I kept poking my fingers with my needle and my thread kept getting tangled the wrong way and I had a heck of a time keeping it straight.  But I powered through.  I call it Drops of Honey because the amber shell discs looked like, well, big drops of honey.  The color in them is so rich and yummy.  There are 5 discs going around the band.  The bracelet is 1 1/4" wide.  It's very simple in it's design...I wanted the honey drops to stand out and take center stage.


I have so many new and wonderful beads to work with, thanks to my generous Dad and his birthday gift to me.  However, given my current state, it looks like this attack with last through the night and I will probably need tomorrow to recover.  And tomorrow is therapy day...those are always rough.  So it may be a day or two before I start on something new.  Who knows.  I'll just have to see how it goes.  You can click on the photo, btw, if you want a larger view.

7 comments:

Bellesanbeaus said...

awww sweet lisa....im so sorry you are not feeling well. lets hope tuesday is a great day for you or just make it a relax day. its wonderful you got to catch up with an old friend. your cuff is gorgeous! you did an awesome job on the whole thing! i will be thinkin of you today and sending you good thoughts. big hugs beth

Carol said...

Hi Lisa
I had no idea that is how a panic attack effects a person. So sad that such a great thing caused the attack. I hope you are able to relax today and recooperate.

The bracelet is just gorgeous!! I love the gold beading at the edges. You have practiced to perfection!

xx and peace to you
Carol

Carol Creech said...

Hi Lisa - this piece is just gorgeous! I absolutely love the name and think it fits the cuff to a T. The discs are indeed a delicious color! It's amazing that you were able to continue working on this throughout a panic attack. I hope you are feeling better soon!!

Bobbi said...

Hi Lisa, I'm so sorry that you're having a bad way again Sweetie. I hope that you're able to get some rest and feel better! That's so wonderful that you were able to talk to your friend after that long of a time! I'll bet the excitement of everything was what triggered your panic attack, but how great to be able to talk o her again!
As for your new cuff...it's outstanding! Everything about it, the colors, the name and of course how you made it! It's amazing and so gorgeous! I also enjoyed how you took the pictures of it this time...very nicely done!
I hope that you feel better today and that you have a good day.
Giant hugs...
Bobbi

Lisa Criswell / Indigo's Beads said...

i was thinking about it this morning, and i thought of a way to describe a panic attack. did you ever have someone sneak up on you and you got really scared for an instant, your heart races, your adrenaline pumps, your blood rushes, your hair stands up on end, etc. and then within two or three seconds the crisis is over and the feeling is gone? well, those feelings are what it's like for me, but they don't stop...it's like that but continuous for hours on end. it's really horrible!

thank you everyone for both your compliments and your well-wishes. i am feeling much better this morning. thinking about what i'm going to create next! :)

carol creech--i love the word "delicious" to describe color! it always makes me smile!

Robbie said...

But aren't you glad you had this piece to work on! Just think what life would be without our beading/artwork. This is a great piece..what is the center? You know I'm an earth tone gal and this is another great piece! Feel better! You have more bracelets to make!!

Gypsy said...

Isn't it wonderful that you have beading to help you cope during those awful attacks...and now you know where your friend is! A good day, despite the anxiety!